Unfortunately, I, Too, Like the CHASE...

So, I am not proud of this but I must admit it! I, The Serial Bachelorette, at times, like the CHASE too! I like it as much as most dudes I know!

Every woman, well most women, like the thought of being this Bad Bytch that can work her magic on some guy to have him sprung! And no, I'm not just talking about sexually. I mean having him completely enamored with all of her womanliness! The kind of brotha that calls and texts you multiple times, daily! He is rapping to you about your future children! And doodling your names together in his notebook! Yeah, that right there is the fantasy!

**EEERRRK...smoke clears, record scratches to a stop** That ish never really works! It never really works because it ain't sexy! If a guy starts doing that too fast, I am going to think he is a LAME! Like he is so thirsty to get a woman that he will simp out for any girl he meets. It is unfortunate because he his probably a good guy! But sometimes I want to work for it to know that it's real! (if that makes sense)

Let me see if I can break this down for you. See, men want to work for the draws! When a man have to put in maximum effort to get the panty draws, it makes him feel like a Champion once they have conquered! They brag about it to their friends! Hell, they brag about finally getting you to YOU! Example of what "The Champ" may say to you once he's got them draws: [in my Jerome Voice] Yeah Girl! You was playing all hard to get...depriving yourSELF! Ain't you glad you finally let Daddy put it on you! I know you are!
(don't act like you ain't heard some variation of this line before)
All the while he's patting himself on the back and giving himself subliminal chest bumps for a job well done!

A lot of men I've had conversations with have said that if they 'get it' from the word go...they'll take it...but just assumes the woman does that all the time and she was only thirsty for the goods! She could give a damn about him...He's not special!

Well us women, we want the want that same 'special' feeling! We like the chase too! The hunt! But instead of hunting for penis, we are chasing that affection! Chasing that romance! Chasing that fairytale ending! When a guy, that we are attracted to both mentally and physically, seems indifferent when it comes to relationships! For some (dumb ass) reason we perk up! When he is blasé about commitment, that somehow turns us on! We now what to be THAT CHICK that changes all that! We want to be so special that we break down those walls and make him want to change his patterns just for us! This is how us women get our ego boost! This is when 'Eye of the Tiger' playing in the background turns into 'We Are the Champions' ! That is when we start bragging to our friends about how we got a 'good man that loves him some me'!

And instead of bragging to you about having conquered YOU...we just simple say, "Baby, Can you hold my purse?"

Thank you for taking this journey with me!
Relax, Relate, Release...

—The S.B.

Pretty. Face. Con.

Story Time...

I went back to my old stomping ground this weekend for a wedding! It was beautiful and I was glad to share in my friend's day. However, this post ain't about that!

So anywho, while I was there as luck would have it, I run into this fool I haven't talked to or even thought of in over five years...

Now unfortunately for unsuspecting ladies, the brotha is still fine! He's about 6'4, a muscular 225, and looks like a young Rick Fox! But that's about where the niceties end. His character is despicable. He's an arrogant, pompous, misogynistic, pathological LIAR!

I met him at a popular lounge in the heart of the city! It was a swanky place that was more upscale than other spots I had visited with my homegirl, who just so happened to be 10 years older, so I hung to her every word.

Though the spot was classy, most men there didn't interest me. One night, I walked in, cute dress with just enough cleavage showing to be noticed but subtle enough for any man to consider introducing me to his mom, but I digress. Anyway, when I get in line, I immediately noticed him. Hard to miss his sexy! He obviously noticed me too because before I could even pull out my ID, he grabbed my hand and pulled me and my homegirl out of line pass security. For the rest of the night he bought drinks and appetizers...showing off his Big Willie status.

We had brief spurts of conversation over the music but I wasn't overly impressed. He was handsome yes, but very cocky and sarcastic. Some of his jokes seemed mean spirited and I overall felt like he wanted me to know that I'm cute...but not that cute and he gets what he wants. When it came time to exchange numbers, I was hesitant, but my girl said, "Are you crazy? He's fine! He bought drinks! He's FINE! Stop being so damn picky!!!" That word picky hit me like a ton of bricks. Maybe I was being extra. I had been living in the city for 3 months, so far he was my most viable option! So I said okay and he set a date!

I thought our first date was perfect! We walk around the Isle and then got ice cream. All in all a nice inexpensive outing. He was a year older than me and he had a managerial position with an IT company and he also managed the lounge on weekends. Plus he had a bad ass fully loaded Saab and owned a house! I wondered how he achieved all this success at such a young age but it made me all the more intrigued.

By the end of our date, he said that we had something special and asked me to be his girlfriend! PAUSE! Huh? Now I was thinking he was crazy and I should dismiss him but 'too picky' played on repeat in the back of my mind. I suggested we date a little while before we make that decision.

He agreed and asked me to go to the movies a week later. When we get to the theatre he conveniently forgets his wallet and proceeds to sneak in. Now I'm really looking at him with the side eye because what "successful" man does this? His stories just ain't adding up. Not to mention that earlier in the week he brought lunch to my job, swore on the bible he made it! But it definitely came from a restaurant frequented. Why lie?

Another week passes and he gets more persistent about us being a couple. When I declined he declared he would not take me on another date until I was his girlfriend. We got into a brief back and forth via text until I just decided this was not worth my time and I went to sleep.

At 2:00 AM, I was jarred awake by the blaring of Beethoven's Symphony #5 in C Minor! See, this is the ringtone I selected for all unwanted calls...restricted, unavailable, and bug-a-boos! In my delirious state I picked up anyway. On the other end of the line, I hear a soft sobbing voice asking if I was the Serial Bachelorette. I reply yes as she proceeds to ask me how I know her boyfriend, The Con Artist. Now my first instinct was to hang up on her cuz I don't like foolishness but she sounded so pitiful that I decided to engage her. She tells me how they got together after a few dates how he has borrowed thousands of dollars from her. I told her the truth about us. We were dating but not physical. He never mentioned a girlfriend. He's a liar, I'm sorry for her, and I will never talk to him again. I hang up and go to back to sleep.

At 7:00 AM, Beethoven is on them keys again! WTF!?! I pick up mad this time! "Is this the Serial Bachelorette? And what is your involvement with my boyfriend" I say, "Look! What do you want now! We have already discussed this! Don't call me again!" Then I hear, "NO, we haven't! That was Angela...the girl who called ME last night...she gave me your number!" WOW!

This is out of hand! Too much tomfoolery for a man that I thought was full of shyt from jump street! But I am curious so I engage her as well. Come to find out, he doesn't have a real job, he sometimes is a bouncer at the club, 'his' Saab belongs to her and she reported it stolen, AND to top it off, he lives with both her and the other girl! again...WOW! At this point, I am lucky that all the Con Artist got me for was an old R. Kelly CD! It was my favorite R. album though...

Sure he called and pleaded his case; says the girls were friends that worked at Nextel and hacked his account to retrieve messages. Sure his lies were more pathetic than his newly homeless self! And sure as hell, from that moment on, I learned to trust my gut! If I would have been blinded by his 1000 watt smile, and let him wife me up from the door, who knows how much he would have tried to shake me down for...Thank Goodness for my well timed skepticism!

When I saw him this weekend and tried to slip by unnoticed, he had the audacity to grab my arm and say, "Hey Stranger! You still got the same number?" I guess the true Con Artist never gives up! Have you been fooled by a pretty face lately...

Thank you for taking this journey with me!

Relax, Relate, Release...

—The S.B.

Don't Want That Tonight...

...or on the regular for that matter!

See, I believe that sex, intimacy, and affection are very important in a relationship. I want to keep my man satisfied and show him that he is appreciated. Plus it feels good and burns calories at the same time!

However, as a woman, it is very easy to lose interest in intimacy when things are not in alignment. See for us, it is way more than just the physical—Sex is essentially EMOTION in MOTION. How we feel directly impacts how we act! We need to feel sexy, wanted, and secure. Those are the things that open the flood gates and once you’ve been in your situation for a minute that’s was what keeps it flowing. When the intimacy starts to fizzle it’s time to take a deeper look!

Here are reasons why I, myself, have lost interest in being intimate with a partner:

1. He Becomes a Man Child—no woman wants this! Especially a woman that doesn't have kids! See, I am looking for a partner to share my life with...chores, bills, and other responsibilities included. When it comes to sharing my domicile, a man not proactively picking up after himself, offering to pay a bill, or buying groceries is unacceptable. If I have to continuously remind/nag my man about these seemingly effortless things, then I begin to look at him like I would a child and then I become mean mommy...and as Miranda of Sex in the City once said, "Who wants to f*ck mean mommy?" And guess what? I don't want to f*ck YOU…no not tonight!

2. He Begins to Take You for Granted—I am not obligated to cook, clean, and service you sexually. Women do these things because they care and want to make their man feel special. Attention to all Men: The more you give the more you get! And please believe the sex will be put on pause when you start getting too comfortable with the routine and no longer recognize your woman's efforts. Fewer things makes me feel less sexy than coming home after work to someone who is already there demanding a hot plate and pawing all over me in the process. Please save your aggressive sexual pursuit for a day when YOU actually cook ME a meal thanks!

3. He Starts Slippin’—Men can slip in many ways…hygiene, general upkeep, minimal romantic gestures, foreplay, etc. When a man starts to sleep on his hygiene that is a big turn off. Like why do some men get in relationships and feel it is OK to wear that same funky armpit stained used-to-be white T-Shirt for days on in. Or why do they think it is now OK to grow that scratchy lumberjack beard and forego weekly barbershop trips…who told you that was cute! Hell if I’m expected to keep it tight—hair done, pedicure, legs shaved, box waxed—why would you think I don’t want the same courtesy? And don’t get me started on foreplay… PLEASE NOTE: Foreplay is NOT just restricted to those few minutes before the 'get down' in the bedroom. Foreplay begins with mental stimulation! You could begin in the AM with breakfast and carry it out with sweet epithets throughout the day! These simple gestures would actually make me want to participate in intimacy exercises with you not just feel obligated!

So fellas, if your sex life is dwindling with your lady maybe you should ask the hard questions. Do I fall into one or more of these categories? If the answer is yes, then might I suggest you step outside of your comfort zone…you gotta do strange for some CHANGE! So go buy those special ‘I appreciate you’ roses on a Tuesday and cook her favorite meal! I am sure the ‘thank you’ sex will be amazing!

Please let me know your thoughts? What makes you feel less than amorous with your significant other?

Thank you for taking this journey with me!
Relax, Relate, Release!

—The S.B.

Baby I'm Back...Again!!!

Hey People! I am back! This time to stay!

I have been reading lots of blogs lately and realizing that this is something I enjoy and I need to get back into the game! As I close the curtains on yet another failed attempt at this elusive thing called love, I recognize that I have had quite an experience with the opposite sex. As I tell my friends stories of my dating woes, they laugh, cry with me, relate, and give advice. One of the most common pieces of advice is that I need to write a book! LOL!

So I am taking their suggestions and doing the next best thing...blogging! I am interested in seeing where this will take me. I am using this as a forum to release and grow. Hopefully my stories will touch you and your comments will help me see various sides of the story.

This blog will be very personal and honest. Because of that, I prefer to protect the privacy of all involved! This will be a little hard to do at times with close friends since they will have heard these stories before and recognize people from the title! LOL! But I will continue to write anyway! I will not use specific names of people or locations but please believe that will not take away from the fun!

So who is The Serial Bachelorette? Well, I am a late 20s single woman who would love to be IN love! Unfortunately, that 'feeling' has eluded me since college. I meet guys fairly easily but it hard work to keep my attention. I know what I want and I will not settle for less. I want a loving husband and at least 2 beautiful children. However, with each year that passes the idea of settling becomes more and more sobering. So what is a girl to do but be patient, wait, stayed prayed up, and chronicle these (mis)adventures so my future husband and I can see how far we've come!

No subject is off limits...sex, money, race, religion, even ugly babies...yeah I said it...ugly babies! So please feel free to leave comments and suggestions! Thank you for taking this journey with me!

Relax, relate, release!

-The S.B.

The 'Double' Date

So I know I have been MIA for a few month but I thought that I would hit you with a funny lil story to catch you up on my dating progress or lack thereof!

Over the past few months, I have been waging my war against spinsterhood by entertaining 5 unlikely candidates. [FYI: Two are the same from the Me & My Crazy World post but 3 are new!] They each have at least one major issue but one is the WORST! He was deemed the worst by having the worst "golf score" of the 5! I will get into this golf score process and how each man fared in another post. But for now, let me tell you about this guy...


He is 30 years old. Decent job and has his own place and he is most definitely fine...these are his only pluses. His big negative...IMMATURITY! He believes that 30 is the new 20 and I am with Lyfe Jennings on this one...30 is the same old 30! I know that 30 is not old by any means but it is damn sure time to grow up and be mature.

So here is where the fun begins...I really should have stopped taking him seriously about 2 months ago when he told me that he doesn't believe in dating and spending money on a woman to impress her...she should just automatically like him for him because he doesn't want to be taken advantage of. See, his ex of 7 years scarred him. I have listened to his tireless accounts of their relationship and how well he treated her and how he thought he was going to marry her but she tired of his shenanigans. But instead of me taking him at face value, I tried to fill in blanks of his sob stories and make his dating attempts toward me sound better than they are. I mean bottom line...he wants some girl to be content hanging at his house for countless hours sucking and bucking and for her not to expect anything extra from him like actually being a real life MAN! This is some young boy bull-ish! Me being lonely...I should have stopped talking to him AGAIN about a month ago when we had set plans but he kept pushing them back and all of a sudden they got cancelled because he was drinking with his boys! I mean really...how old is too old for the 'bros before hos' mantra to be in effect?

Well anyways, I give him chance after chance because he does genuinely seem interested in me as a person, when we hang out we laugh our heads off, the one time kiss/make out session we had was OK, and all the guys I actually like don't live in my city! Woe is me! About 2 weeks ago now he asks me out for drinks after work. I agreed because I had a rough day and he was buying! I get there about 20 minutes after him and when I sit down he immediately gets me a drink. Then he hits me with this, "um...I got some bad news. This crazy girl I used to date is going to be meeting us as well." WHAT!!!???!!! WHY!!!???!!! "um...she was already here when I, um ,walked in and she saw me and told me she was coming back to hang out."

STOP RIGHT THERE! If this was a grown man that recognized that I am grown woman that deserves the best he would have deaded that right there. He didn't have to be mean but a simple, "I am actually meeting a lady friend of mine here in a few minutes so maybe we can get up some other time", would have worked. Not "sure, c'mon". The more I think about it the more disrespected I feel. But, for some reason I didn't leave. I wanted to see this chick. I wanted to see what she was all about and what his taste is like. Well let's just say, I got my answer with the quickness. She was a damn MESS. Young acting, elf looking, classless, loud-mouthed broad. I looked at her then looked at me...looked at her then at me...IS HE SERIOUS? We don't even compare!

So at this point I am laughing at this situation. A few of his guy friends joined us and they are looking at him confused yet in admiration like he is the man...he is out on a double date with me and chickadee! Seriously...how are you on a double date but I'm not! LOL! When the girl gets up to work the bar...panhandling for drinks and all...he asks, "are you mad?" I say, "No. Not at all because I got you..." He asks over and over what that means and I say simply, "I got you...you are Fun Times." He gets somewhat offended because I do not take him seriously. How could I? We obviously don't want the same things because if we did, her ass would not be sitting there!!!

The funniest part of this story is that he doesn't think he did anything wrong. He asked me out; lets another girl join our 'date'; entertained her the entire night to keep her as an ace in the hole; and after I left and he walked me to my car, he went back to her to finish his night! Unbelievable! Even more unbelievable is that in the grand scheme of things, I'm truly not mad...meaning that I'm obviously just not that into him! He is like I called it before Fun Times and I will treat him accordingly. When I need a drink after work, if I'm hungry or need to spoon..I might give him a call! He wants to be a boy...he can be my boy toy when I decide to play! If 30 is the new 20 then 20 is the new 10 so here's a hug for the road little boy! If I decide to continue this friendship, it will be on my terms alone because children can't make grown up decisions!


-The SB

Me & My Crazy World

This blog here is pretty much a spin off of The Winter Wars! It will just be an elaboration on each of the men that make up my crazy dating world. For the past 10 days, I have really been trying to open myself up to new dating experiences while at the same time implementing my new attitude...fearless in the remainder of 2009 and all of 2010. I know what I want but I need to become more strategic in actually getting it! Hell, I also want to have fun so that is why I am dating! Only thing is...that fantasizing is starting to rear its ugly head and as I try to suppress those fantasies I become pickier and pickier!

So I am currently entertaining 3 men! I went to a party on Friday looking for a 4th or just one to knock everyone out the water and wouldn't you know it...I got almost no play at all. And I was sharper than that knife Miss Celie was bought to use to shape up Mister in the Color Purple...lol! The only man that I was half interested in was one that I met a long time ago when I had a BF and since I was working on staying faithful I didn't keep in contact. He then went on to date an associate and sorority sister of mine. I wonder if the are still together? If they are not and I went after him, would I be wrong? Hmm...I don't know...got to think about that...but anyway, I digress. So needless to say, the night was uneventful and I still got only my 3!

Each of the 3 are have some good qualities. But as for their negative qualities, they can be classifies as the bad, the worse, and the ugly. There are no real front runners in this group. Hopefully writing these down will help me see the picture more clearly!

Let's start with the BAD...we will call this guy "Long Distance Lover: The Sequel". I met this guy back in college approximately 6 years ago over a popular social networking site. He hit me up because he thought I was cute and the only reason I gave him the time of day is because he is my frat brother and not bad looking. Not my type initially but decent looking. We had some convo back then but we were young and LD relationships are hard and even tougher when you are young so nothing materialized. I have seen him a couple times at frat/sorority functions but we have had no contact since 2005 until he found me on Facebook about 8 or so months ago. Since then we had few exchanges over the wall and/or status updates but nothing major. Oddly, exactly one day after my last breakup he sent me a text message and asked if he could call me. We talked, conversation was easy, we never skipped a beat. I like his ideas on life, he has a good career, very motivated, and makes me laugh. Sounds great right...WRONG! First off...he lives a flight away...driving is double the amount of time it took me to get to my ex and you see how that worked out! Another problem is that he is talking the same talk that my ex did...he is ready for love, marriage, kids, etc...he thinks I am beautiful, smart, blah, blah, blah! Being that I just came out of a LD relationship...please don't talk the talk...just skip all that BS and walk the walk. Another red flag is that he once "talked" to one of my good friends and he neglected to tell me that even after he found out that her and I are close. She says she could care less about us dating because they never did anything and I believe her but he already has a demerit in my book for negating that tidbit! The last issue is...he is tall, very tall which I like! But very skinny which I don't! I know you are thinking...S.B., don't be so shallow! But I know me, attraction is very important and I fell to temptation once because I was no longer physically attracted to my mate, who just so happened to be short and skinny. Maybe him being tall will make me feel less uncomfortable with his skinniness considering he got at least 1 out of 2. I am just hoping that those protein shakes he's been sucking down will put some meat on his bones because the brotha is really impressing me in many other ways. He had been asking me to come visit him and when I explained to him my thoughts on being courted, he literally sent for me! I got home to check my email and there was my flight itinerary. He seem genuinely excited about my visit and is planning all the weekend activities as a surprise! I won't be there for another month but I will well document my travels! We will see just how skinny skinny is and if I am as shallow as I hope not to be!

Moving on the WORSE..."Mr. Peter Pan". I call him Mr. because he truely is too old for foolishness. This guy is handsome and has a great job as an engineer for a major corporation. He seems very interested in me ...hell, he called me the very next day...more than once. He is also up for having a good time. We went bowling on our 2nd date and had plenty of laughs. But that is where the pros end and the cons begin! This guy gives me concerns because he is young acting. He tells me stories about childish things he gets into like egg fights; every single time I talk to him on the phone he has one of his 'guys' over at his apartment, sleeping on the couch or playing playstation. I mean that really is just not my cup of tea! Now I haven't known him long and this may be coincidental but I just don't know! Our 1st date he asked me to run errands with him at the mall and I found a way to get out of that so I met him at the mall after his errands and we grabbed something to eat. Our second date, he says to me, "it's your turn to plan the date." He said it as if he really exerted any creativity with the mall! The second go round, It was my idea to go bowling...but we did have fun! Now he is getting more bold and trying to come over to my house and get me to cook! Is he serious...he better know if I agree to that he better be supplying the food. Nice guy but young...I been down that road before! And guess what? I cheated with a man that was more mature. I am not proud of that but it is a reality. [FYI, this was on the same guy from above that was short and skinny...don't want y'all to think I make cheating a habit. It was something I did and that I regret] Hopefully he comes stronger for date 3 because I am looking for a full grown man!

And last but not least, THE UGLY! We will just call him, "Sumthin' Ain't Right". Now this man right here! He is FOINE!!!...and yeah I spelled it like that on purpose. He is the perfect size, height, and build! Brotha takes care of his body like whoa! And after initial conversation with him you get the impression that he is very passionate and a thinker! BUT BUT BUT...the big negative...he is a divorcee with 2.5 damn kids. Now those that know S.B. know that I don't get down with other peoples kids. I want my first experience with marriage and kids to be OUR first experience but this man has already done both...DAMN! But he says to me that he is a good God fearing man, he owns his own business and is currently getting his masters. He says, "S.B., you need to have an open mind because you may find a single never been married man with no kids that is a complete jackass!" And I think he is right! So I let him take me on a date. He wanted to meet at his house. I thought that he probably wanted to take one car and all that good first date stuff so I agreed. As I was sitting in front of his house, a car pulls up next to me and he jumps out the passenger side. I don't think much of this, we go in the house and the 1st thing I notice is a bus schedule. Again, I am giving the B.O.D because many people take buses into the City! But then he asks me to drive...WHAT! Something's up and it ain't right but how do I ask w/o coming off harsh! We proceed to our date and have great conversation. I'm looking at his lips because did I mention he is fine! He looks me deep in the eyes and tells me that he thinks he is falling in love with me and could see us moving in together and getting married! RED ALERT! RED ALERT! Sumthin just ain't right with him...he is a little OFF! Come to find out, dude has no car, only works at what I thought was his nine to five 2 days a week, and who knows what is really good with his LLC! He swears he has money for a car but just doesn't see it as necessary because he has great people in his life willing to drive him around or he will rent a car like every weekend! Who does that? Well dude...I AM NOT THE ONE! I live too far outside of the city to be dating you and carting your butt around! Not gonna happen! No!

But am I wrong for just wanting to keep "Sumthin' Ain't Right" around for the eye candy and maybe a lil heavy petting from time to time? He is Fine! And I have been pretty deprived over the years...before my most recent ex I hadn't got any in over a year and as I write this it has been over 2 months with no clear end date in sight! I mean women need that type of interaction too! But I will just meditate because I don't want to run up my numbers for nothing!

So with this all being said, I know this blog is long but I just wanted the masses to know what I am working with as The Serial Bachelorette...not much! To tie it all back together...am I being too picky? I do however, think that at least one of these guys has to have potential...I'm just not sure for what yet. I guess that is what dating is all about! The sole purpose to put yourself through this whole dating experiment is marriage and that world wind romance that we all fantasize about. I'm just trying to see who is only worthy of a fling and who could actually survive the journey! My crazy world of dating is looking hazy and I would love for some clarity...soon! Keep tuning in...I want to see how this is all going to turn out myself! Until next time...

-The S.B.

THE WINTER WARS!!!

OMG...they are here!

I have been wanting to blog again since my first go round but I haven't really known what to talk about exactly. But EUREKA...it hit me!

So for the past few days I have been a little down. Still dealing with the residuals of an untimely breakup. But even while I have been pouty I still have been getting mad play. First, an old friend pops up on facebook with a few "hey stranger" notes...then another guy that I erased out of my phone calls like "just checking on you!"...following this incident I reconnected with a handsome and eligible city transplant that I met through a professional org...and the cherry on top of this sweet dessert is that I got the number of a cutie I once made googly eyes with when I was nearing the end of a dead-end relationship so we didn't exchange contact info then. So you could say for a heartbroken simp...I still got it going on! Or do I? Let's investigate shall we!!!

Today, I was bored as hell at work but what kept me going all day was the constant 'dings' of my text messages, gchat, email, and facebook! And not by just one guy or two guys or three guys but no...and unprecedented FIVE men! Damn...I'm hot but that seemed a little odd until...dun dun dun...Until I looked at my calendar and realized what was really going on!!! The start of the dang on WINTER WARS!!!

See, I was a little thrown off because it usually doesn't start until exactly one week before the first day of fall but I guess dudes are tryna get a jump on the competition! Unfortunately they are all of one mind...LOL For those that don't know, the Winter Wars are when men feel a need to find at least one female to keep them warm during those cold and snowy months. See they know that they will not be going out as much due to the weather and maybe an increased workload...this lowers their chances at finding some hot random booty to get their rocks off. So this is the time when they reflect and think (dually note: THINK) they are ready to settle down and take it to the next level and really have something special. Then they think..."But then again...why do that man...its only cold until about March? I think I can shake her shortly after V-Day...maybe give her a bad gift or no gift at all! Yeah...that'll do it! Free and Clear by April 1st! The Day of Fools...ah ha ha ha" [i hear evil laughter as I type this]

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies please keep your head on a swivel and stay alert because you are being hunted...this is War! You will be a damn P.O.W, laid up with this man all winter thinking you done found HIM aka 'the one' if you don't take heed to the warning signs! Next thing you know by springtime 'He-Man' is A.W.O.L...and all that lovie dovie talk is M.I.A...you are left sitting there staring...assed out!

Here are the warning signs:

1. When a man you've kicked it with in the past hits you with that..."Hey Stranger!" text, email, FB, or random, straight out the woodwork call...he tells you he has been thinking about you! But you haven't heard from him since there was snow on the ground the previous calendar year. Translation: "It didn't work out with any of them broads over the summer and hell at least I know you and/or had sex with you! You'd make a nice snow bunny!"

2. When a man you've just met hits you with that..."I really don't go out that much anymore! I rather stay home and chill and...you know" But you have seen him in the crowd at every summer soiree in the city, and he got his whole summer documented in pictures on Facebook from the "Black Party" over Memorial Day to the "White Party" over Labor Day. Translation: "Damn Labor Day was last week. There ain't another club banga type party on the books for months and these females are starting to retire their scantily clad summer gear!!! Well, you are cute enough to get naked with in the cold months!"

3. When a man that you are interested in, you've given him your number, calls and ask you out on a first date...at his HOUSE. "I just want to do something low key! Really get to know you without distractions! I'll cook, we can watch movies, play the Wii or maybe watch the game...you know." Translation: "I need to start the way I want to finish! You are gonna be laid up in this house with me all football season! I ain't fittin' to miss a game courting you all over the city and trickin' money! Yeah...this plan is recession proof!"

LADIES! Please believe that I am not saying that every single encounter and/or man is like this...and I plan to give at least 3 of the five men that are currently hounding me a fair chance! What I am saying is that we need to do better in assessing what these men are really about! Stop providing them with the Staple's "Easy Button"! Make them work for it! Prove it! Like I said before...fantasies can make you blind! You give in because it sounds good! I am guilty of this crime of love far too often...hell I am The Serial Bachelorette...you don't become serial without falling into traps and patterns! But today, I am declaring this 'PROVE IT' season! Whenever he start popping game...just simply say "prove it". If he is worth it...He will! 'Til next time!

-The S.B.