So I know I have been MIA for a few month but I thought that I would hit you with a funny lil story to catch you up on my dating progress or lack thereof!
Over the past few months, I have been waging my war against spinsterhood by entertaining 5 unlikely candidates. [FYI: Two are the same from the Me & My Crazy World post but 3 are new!] They each have at least one major issue but one is the WORST! He was deemed the worst by having the worst "golf score" of the 5! I will get into this golf score process and how each man fared in another post. But for now, let me tell you about this guy...
He is 30 years old. Decent job and has his own place and he is most definitely fine...these are his only pluses. His big negative...IMMATURITY! He believes that 30 is the new 20 and I am with Lyfe Jennings on this one...30 is the same old 30! I know that 30 is not old by any means but it is damn sure time to grow up and be mature.
So here is where the fun begins...I really should have stopped taking him seriously about 2 months ago when he told me that he doesn't believe in dating and spending money on a woman to impress her...she should just automatically like him for him because he doesn't want to be taken advantage of. See, his ex of 7 years scarred him. I have listened to his tireless accounts of their relationship and how well he treated her and how he thought he was going to marry her but she tired of his shenanigans. But instead of me taking him at face value, I tried to fill in blanks of his sob stories and make his dating attempts toward me sound better than they are. I mean bottom line...he wants some girl to be content hanging at his house for countless hours sucking and bucking and for her not to expect anything extra from him like actually being a real life MAN! This is some young boy bull-ish! Me being lonely...I should have stopped talking to him AGAIN about a month ago when we had set plans but he kept pushing them back and all of a sudden they got cancelled because he was drinking with his boys! I mean really...how old is too old for the 'bros before hos' mantra to be in effect?
Well anyways, I give him chance after chance because he does genuinely seem interested in me as a person, when we hang out we laugh our heads off, the one time kiss/make out session we had was OK, and all the guys I actually like don't live in my city! Woe is me! About 2 weeks ago now he asks me out for drinks after work. I agreed because I had a rough day and he was buying! I get there about 20 minutes after him and when I sit down he immediately gets me a drink. Then he hits me with this, "um...I got some bad news. This crazy girl I used to date is going to be meeting us as well." WHAT!!!???!!! WHY!!!???!!! "um...she was already here when I, um ,walked in and she saw me and told me she was coming back to hang out."
STOP RIGHT THERE! If this was a grown man that recognized that I am grown woman that deserves the best he would have deaded that right there. He didn't have to be mean but a simple, "I am actually meeting a lady friend of mine here in a few minutes so maybe we can get up some other time", would have worked. Not "sure, c'mon". The more I think about it the more disrespected I feel. But, for some reason I didn't leave. I wanted to see this chick. I wanted to see what she was all about and what his taste is like. Well let's just say, I got my answer with the quickness. She was a damn MESS. Young acting, elf looking, classless, loud-mouthed broad. I looked at her then looked at me...looked at her then at me...IS HE SERIOUS? We don't even compare!
So at this point I am laughing at this situation. A few of his guy friends joined us and they are looking at him confused yet in admiration like he is the man...he is out on a double date with me and chickadee! Seriously...how are you on a double date but I'm not! LOL! When the girl gets up to work the bar...panhandling for drinks and all...he asks, "are you mad?" I say, "No. Not at all because I got you..." He asks over and over what that means and I say simply, "I got you...you are Fun Times." He gets somewhat offended because I do not take him seriously. How could I? We obviously don't want the same things because if we did, her ass would not be sitting there!!!
The funniest part of this story is that he doesn't think he did anything wrong. He asked me out; lets another girl join our 'date'; entertained her the entire night to keep her as an ace in the hole; and after I left and he walked me to my car, he went back to her to finish his night! Unbelievable! Even more unbelievable is that in the grand scheme of things, I'm truly not mad...meaning that I'm obviously just not that into him! He is like I called it before Fun Times and I will treat him accordingly. When I need a drink after work, if I'm hungry or need to spoon..I might give him a call! He wants to be a boy...he can be my boy toy when I decide to play! If 30 is the new 20 then 20 is the new 10 so here's a hug for the road little boy! If I decide to continue this friendship, it will be on my terms alone because children can't make grown up decisions!
-The SB
