THE WINTER WARS!!!

OMG...they are here!

I have been wanting to blog again since my first go round but I haven't really known what to talk about exactly. But EUREKA...it hit me!

So for the past few days I have been a little down. Still dealing with the residuals of an untimely breakup. But even while I have been pouty I still have been getting mad play. First, an old friend pops up on facebook with a few "hey stranger" notes...then another guy that I erased out of my phone calls like "just checking on you!"...following this incident I reconnected with a handsome and eligible city transplant that I met through a professional org...and the cherry on top of this sweet dessert is that I got the number of a cutie I once made googly eyes with when I was nearing the end of a dead-end relationship so we didn't exchange contact info then. So you could say for a heartbroken simp...I still got it going on! Or do I? Let's investigate shall we!!!

Today, I was bored as hell at work but what kept me going all day was the constant 'dings' of my text messages, gchat, email, and facebook! And not by just one guy or two guys or three guys but no...and unprecedented FIVE men! Damn...I'm hot but that seemed a little odd until...dun dun dun...Until I looked at my calendar and realized what was really going on!!! The start of the dang on WINTER WARS!!!

See, I was a little thrown off because it usually doesn't start until exactly one week before the first day of fall but I guess dudes are tryna get a jump on the competition! Unfortunately they are all of one mind...LOL For those that don't know, the Winter Wars are when men feel a need to find at least one female to keep them warm during those cold and snowy months. See they know that they will not be going out as much due to the weather and maybe an increased workload...this lowers their chances at finding some hot random booty to get their rocks off. So this is the time when they reflect and think (dually note: THINK) they are ready to settle down and take it to the next level and really have something special. Then they think..."But then again...why do that man...its only cold until about March? I think I can shake her shortly after V-Day...maybe give her a bad gift or no gift at all! Yeah...that'll do it! Free and Clear by April 1st! The Day of Fools...ah ha ha ha" [i hear evil laughter as I type this]

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies please keep your head on a swivel and stay alert because you are being hunted...this is War! You will be a damn P.O.W, laid up with this man all winter thinking you done found HIM aka 'the one' if you don't take heed to the warning signs! Next thing you know by springtime 'He-Man' is A.W.O.L...and all that lovie dovie talk is M.I.A...you are left sitting there staring...assed out!

Here are the warning signs:

1. When a man you've kicked it with in the past hits you with that..."Hey Stranger!" text, email, FB, or random, straight out the woodwork call...he tells you he has been thinking about you! But you haven't heard from him since there was snow on the ground the previous calendar year. Translation: "It didn't work out with any of them broads over the summer and hell at least I know you and/or had sex with you! You'd make a nice snow bunny!"

2. When a man you've just met hits you with that..."I really don't go out that much anymore! I rather stay home and chill and...you know" But you have seen him in the crowd at every summer soiree in the city, and he got his whole summer documented in pictures on Facebook from the "Black Party" over Memorial Day to the "White Party" over Labor Day. Translation: "Damn Labor Day was last week. There ain't another club banga type party on the books for months and these females are starting to retire their scantily clad summer gear!!! Well, you are cute enough to get naked with in the cold months!"

3. When a man that you are interested in, you've given him your number, calls and ask you out on a first date...at his HOUSE. "I just want to do something low key! Really get to know you without distractions! I'll cook, we can watch movies, play the Wii or maybe watch the game...you know." Translation: "I need to start the way I want to finish! You are gonna be laid up in this house with me all football season! I ain't fittin' to miss a game courting you all over the city and trickin' money! Yeah...this plan is recession proof!"

LADIES! Please believe that I am not saying that every single encounter and/or man is like this...and I plan to give at least 3 of the five men that are currently hounding me a fair chance! What I am saying is that we need to do better in assessing what these men are really about! Stop providing them with the Staple's "Easy Button"! Make them work for it! Prove it! Like I said before...fantasies can make you blind! You give in because it sounds good! I am guilty of this crime of love far too often...hell I am The Serial Bachelorette...you don't become serial without falling into traps and patterns! But today, I am declaring this 'PROVE IT' season! Whenever he start popping game...just simply say "prove it". If he is worth it...He will! 'Til next time!

-The S.B.