Love Makes Fools of Women

As I was at work listening to the oldies on Pandora, a few songs popped up in rotation that got me singing and relating—“Silly” by Deneice Williams and “Chain of Fools” by Aretha Franklin. I guess the universe was trying to tell me something. I chuckled as recalled the movie Maneater. Though it is only a mildly humorous film, the main character did say one thing that struck me…“Love Makes Fools of Women”…hmm…is that true?

Well let see…I have a group of good girlfriends—smart, beautiful, and rational (most times)—the times when they get knocked off their square, it usually has something to do with that thing called love! Over the years, we have compiled numerous stories of foolish behaviors enacted in the name of love—Everything from loaning money for a down payment never paid back, posting bail, forgiving cheating, jumping into a street brawl between 2 men just to protect your man, ignoring sexual orientation, slashing tires, bleaching clothes and most creative of them all—putting an international plan on a brotha’s cell phone and calling Africa for 5 hours.
So yeah, Love surely makes fools out of women!

I am no stranger to being foolish. I thought I'd share my list of Foolish Things I’ve done for love, in pursuit of love, and to avenge the loss of love.

Blatantly Ignored Cheating—Once I dated an older man. I was always a little uncomfortable with this but he made me feel relaxed. About 5 months in, I stopped feeling so relaxed. Things were strained and he wasn’t making the same effort. So I did what lots of women do, I played the sleuth and went into his phone! I found several inappropriate text messages to women and even a pair of breast in a picture mail! I was so outdone! But I convinced myself that I was out of line for violating his trust and that we were only dating for 5 months—nothing is serious until 6 months right? I keep my mouth shut and continued on like it never happened. For the next 6 months, I was even more determined to be a damn good girlfriend that cooked, cleaned, and (try) to put it down in the bedroom! I was a young fool!

Catered to my Man at all cost—I used to work 4 hours from my home when I had a corporate sales job with a Big 3 Company! I would drive up there on Mondays and come home late evening on Thursday. One evening, I was exhausted when my man arrived. He tells me I look terrible then asks what’s for dinner! I look at him and laugh. He’s irked and tells me he should’ve stayed home since I wasn’t cooking. After another 15 minutes of pouting, I put on my sweats and went to the store! By the time I finished the pork chops he was out and I ate alone!

Gullible—I let a man drive my company car out of town because he was having car troubles and short on money. My job paid for my gas so that was perfect for him. He promised to be safe. If he would have gotten into an accident or even pulled over for speeding, I could have gotten fired but who cared! I was in love!

The "Big" Payback—A guy that I was falling for and I thought he was falling for me abruptly told me that he thinks we are moving too fast and he wanted to slow down. Well slow down meant severing all ties and after 7 whole days without even a hello, I snapped and took it out on his car! We were at a party and I saw it in the far lot, I took off my belt and began scratching it! Too bad it was absolutely pointless! He drove a 1988 Toyota Tercel that was gumby green w/ red-rust doors. All my scratching did was leave a pile for rust chips in the parking space. The removed rust only improved the look and I ruined a good dress with rust stains!

Revenge Sex—In college, after a breakup with My First, we decided to still be friends. As we talked one evening, 2 months later, somehow we started talking about life after the fall out. He got loose with the lips and told me that he had wack sex the night before and he regretted it because it wasn’t me! I got a lump in my throat and at that moment I decided that I was going to get mine too! I had met a cute guy a few weeks ago, so called him up and well…you know! Now good for me that me and this guy actually became close friends because I was sure he would think I was easy! But I wanted revenge sex! Silly me though…I had revenge sex but nobody knew but me! My First, to this day, knows nothing of it! Some brilliant tactic that was!

Stalker Tendencies—My guy at the time was supposed to spend the night at my house after a party. We had never taken it there but I was feeling amorous and excited to see him! After the let out, I called him like 20 times and no answer so I drove home—35 minutes from his house. As I called for the 21st time, I got heated and decided to go see what was up! At 3 AM I drove to his house and rang the bell—no answer. I see his car! So I climb through the woods and knock on his window! I hear a woman stirred from her sleep call his name. I was so shocked that I bolted off! I cried all the way home! So embarrassed, I tried to pretend it didn’t happen and we continued dating. (same guy for #1 thru #3. I was really a fool for him)


AND THE TWO MOST FOOLISH

Unprotected Sex because my love really wanted to! I was on no birth control, completely unable to support a child and I didn’t even ask if he was tested. Thank God that He protects babies and fools!

Fight Club!—When the love of my life decided to go back to his ex because he felt “obligated because of the years” they spent together, I was crushed. What made it worse is that before he went back to her, this chick actually sent me a threatening email telling me to stay away! Well one evening my friends tried to cheer me up with shots! After my dose of liquid courage, I went to his apartment when I thought she would be there—hair braided, face full of Vaseline! I pounded on the door! No answer so I waited for hours! I woke up to the dusk sky! Now that was crazy!

As I type these stories, I am literally laughing out loud! What the hell was I doing? But after years, I know what it was; I was young, dumb, and quick to succumb! So I’d like to rephrase the above statement…"Love can only make fools out of YOUNG and/or DUMB women!"

If you are still falling for the same ookie doke you did in college or your "just barely 20s", you might need to ask yourself…which one am I? But don’t feel too bad sista…we can all relate because everybody play the fool, sometime!

Please feel free to share your foolish stories! Thank you for taking this journey with me!

—The S.B.