You Got Some Nerve!

As a blogger, Facebook and the like becomes your best friend. While doing my daily Internet rounds, I come across some of the damnedest things. My latest peruse lead me to this topic. Some of these men out here got some big balls with no shaft...figuratively not literally! But for real, they have some audacity!

It seems that as of late, social media has become the preferred platform for men to air their grievances against woman! I have taken a hard look at each of these gripes, and some I wholeheartedly understand, but then I look at the sources from which these complaints originate, and all I can say is, YOU GOT SOME DAMN NERVE!

Now these good wifey guidelines, if you will, are in no particular order. Sidebar: I hate the term 'wifey'—no woman my age is looking to be a wifey, it is wife or bust. That term is childish like calling a grown man Mikey! But I digress! However, I will use the term here because it fits in with the ridiculous.

Please note: The following statements are taken directly out of the mouths of men and I will dissect them for your entertainment!

These men believe that to be a the Good Prototypical Wifey…

1. A woman must go to the gym at least 3 times a week. This is interesting considering most requesting this are hefty themselves! I commend the effort of any man who works out sometimes twice a day but I must ask what he is really doing while there because his results are real slow! Plus, these men eat like crap—fast food, no vegetables! He wants to walk around sporting a woman that has the body of Beyoncé when he’s built like an offensive lineman with way less athleticism and NO money—not sexy! He got some nerve!

2. A woman should take care of herself—be fancy! I like this but where’s he at? He has nice shoes but a bad outfit! He wears corduroy in the summer time smelling sweaty and sour like dill pickles! Is he demanding that she have hair done, nails did, everything shaved!?! That's real rich when he’s sporting a bald spot he refuses to accept, got more dirt under his nails than a potted plant, and has so much body hair it looks like he’s wearing a freaking sweater in the shower! Really, he got some nerve!

3. A woman should show her man that she is motherly. Hilarious! I’m not his mama and I have no kids of my own! I see where he’s trying to go here but he fails. If he wants a woman to cook, clean, and wipe his tears, he needs to ask properly. Asking properly isn't about words, it means being the man he always claims to be! I have no problem catering to a man that is good to me. The problem comes when childish men command this but negate the reciprocal requirements. If I'm reduced to this narrow role of a woman and we are adopting "traditional" roles then he should be doing all the things a man is "expected" to do like paying the mortgage, footing the bill for groceries, amenities, and all utilities. While "Papa" is at it, he mustn’t forget to throw me a few dollars to get my hair and nails done! Thanks! Isn’t that the “fatherly” thing to do? These men with no jobs, unrealistic expectations, and skewed views on what a good woman is crack me up! Deep down he must know he got some nerve!

4. A woman should support all her man’s goals. I agree that a woman should support her man but not blindly. I feel that many men need to revamp their idea of what support is. Just because some chick decides to only give the “rah-rah” cheer before an interview or bakes congrats/better luck next time brownies, he should not confuse that with full support. Support is getting in the trenches and helping him obtain his goals. Support is doing the dirty work and pointing out areas of improvement whilst working with him on those deficiencies. Support is telling him the truth regardless of what is popular. So when a man says he wants a supportive woman, my questions is, “Are you strong enough to handle real support?” The man who wants to be coddled more than he wants to endeavor, he got some nerve!

5. A woman should have a low bed count. Well, well, well we have an interesting one here! I'm all about the virtuous woman but it seems that men forget all their own bed hopping when assessing a woman’s. Sorry to say, ladies bear the burden of the double standard! I have a male friend that freaked out when he found out how many men his girlfriend slept with. He was really into this girl but he told me that he didn’t want to marry a woman with more than 3 partners! But yet he still allowed himself to be her fourth! What a hypocrite! Since we’ve been friends for years, I know all about his whorish past! Hell, he had three partners in 3 days but he has the audacity to try and demoralize this girl because of her sexual past! I understand that men are territorial but that is just plain ridiculous! Unless he finds himself a virgin, which he claims not to want, he will be hard pressed to find an adult woman that fits into his mold! He has some nerve!

Ladies, here you have the short list of "guidelines" that I have complied from our male counterparts. Please believe there are several more with questionable foundations. If you are looking to be the ideal Wifey, follow these “rules” at your own risk! I do not disagree that these are valuable qualities, just make sure you check your sources first! Some men may not be deserving of your efforts...

Thank you for talking this journey with me!

—The S. B.